A 1985 Interview With "Vic Somers"

Actually, this Q&A session with a key character from both of my books, Just Another Sunday and Trampled Underfoot, is more akin to what would've (could've) taken place had an interviewer been given the opportunity to sit down with him in 1985.

Interviewer: Tell me what makes Vic Somers tick?

Vic: Is that supposed to be a dig?

Interviewer: Sorry, I didn’t mean it as a reference to your congenital heart condition. I’ll put it another way: What motivates you to do the things that you do, or did?

Vic: Living life to the fullest is what motivates me. Next question.

Interviewer: Do you still love your ex-wife?

Vic: Look, she divorced me, not the other way around. (lights a cigarette) And yeah, I’ve always loved her. I still do. If it were up to me, we’d still be together.

Interviewer: (look of surprise) Do you know why she divorced you?

Vic: (shrugs) No clue. You’ll have to ask her that question. (takes a long drag of his Marlboro Reds cigarette)

Interviewer: Should you still be a cigarette smoker with all that you’ve been through concerning your congenital heart defect?

Vic: (takes another drag) Look man, if I worried about every fucking thing in life instead of living it the way I see fit, I’d be dead already.

Interviewer: Hence, your favorite saying is ‘only the good die young and I’m no damn good,’ is that correct? You live by that phrase, don’t you?

Vic: Damn straight. Dude, let me ask you a question. (shifts his weight, puts out his cigarette and clears his throat) If you had a heart condition like mine, would you cower in a corner somewhere, afraid that your sick heart could crap out any minute? Or would you live your life like there was no end to it?

Interviewer: I’m the one conducting this interview, however, I will entertain this one question only. I’d take good care of my health and would quit any bad habits that could shorten my lifespan, like cigarette smoking.

(Vic rolls his eyes)

Interviewer: I can see you’re uncomfortable with this subject, so I’ll move on. If you could, what would you do differently in life?

Vic: Not a Goddamn thing. Wait, I take that back. I’d be more careful.

Interviewer: Really? More careful with what? Covering your tracks?

Vic: (shrugs his shoulders) Maybe. Dunno. Probably.

Interviewer: Do you consider yourself a sex addict?

Vic: (laughs) No, not anymore. (laughs again) You've done your homework well. But hey, it was the 70s. Free love was part of the scene. Wife-swapping was part of the landscape.

Interviewer: So you do know the reason your wife wanted a divorce, yet you pretend you have no idea. Any comment on that?

Vic: Not really, no. And that’s the thing . . . If she and I were on the same page back then, enjoying the same shit together, making love instead of waging war, we’d still be married today.

Interviewer: Are you practicing monogamy or still sleeping with many women?

Vic: Dude, it’s 1985. I’m 35-years-old and I’m no dummy. I use protection every time I get it on with a chick. Contracting that deadly AIDS virus ain’t number one on my Hit Parade of things to do. (smiles broadly) So you could say I’ve mellowed with age.

Interviewer: What about VJ? Help us understand why you moved across country to California. It's well known you've had no contact with him since 1979.

Vic: This is bullshit . . . (removes microphone) Man, I warned you to keep him out of it . . . (stands up) I'm outta here . . . (walks off the set) . . . I'm done.